I Pay With Sexual Favors!
by Roxius
Summary: Ultimo thinks he needs to repay Yamato for all of his help by performing sexual favors. Ultimo X Yamato. No actual sex or such things depicted. Mentions of a certain sexual act, though. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Karakuridōji Ultimo!

A/N: By the way...expect a het fic next for this series. And...it has nothing to do with Yamato this time.

A/N 2: Oddly enough, I actually kinda like this pairing...but then I feel totally gay. T_T

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When Yamato awoke that early Sunday morning, the first thing he saw a pair of clear, beautiful emerald-green eyes staring right back at him. It was the robot boy Ultimo.

"Good morning, Yamato-kun," Ultimo said in that soft, sweet voice of his. His lips curved upwards into an adorable little smile. Yamato opened his mouth to speak, or more likely to shout, but Ultimo then did something even more unthinkable than simply sleep in his bed: he kissed him. On the lips. And there was definitely a little bit of tongue involved.

"YAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Practically leaping out of bed, Yamato crashed to the floor, but quickly scrambled to his feet as he continued to scream. Ultimo sat up in the bed and pulled the covers over his bare chest. Apparently, besides his giant mechnical arms, he was completely nude and devoid of armor. Why this was, Yamato had no clue. Still, that wasn't the most pressing matter at the moment.

"YOU...YOU...YOU KISSED ME!!!!" Yamato roared at the top of his lungs. This wasn't right; how could his first kiss be taken by a ROBOT BOY of all things? He had always dreamed of sharing a loving, passionate first kiss with Sayama-san, but now he was going to have to settle with it being his SECOND kiss instead...and that sucked big time.

Ultimo giggled like nothing was wrong. "Of course I did, silly! I wanted to thank you properly for having helped me in my fight against Vice a few days back by performing sexual favors! You remember that fight against Vice, don't you?"

Yamato spat on the floor in a pitiful attempt to get rid of the taste of Ultimo's lips in his mouth. "Y-Yeah, I remember that pretty damn well, but...BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPAY ME THROUGH SEXUAL FAVORS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!" he snapped, almost about ready to punch the crimson-haired boy.

"B-But...but...but these days, the most anyone can do to show their full appreciation for someone's help is through sexual favors...it's sad but true..." Ultimo whimpered. For some reason, he looked like he was about to start bawling at any moment. Yamato figured that if anyone was going to be bawling, it was him.

"...Who told you something as utterly ridiculous as that bullshit?!!" Yamato retorted incredulously. He was seriously going to beat up whatever asshole put these insane ideas in Ultimo's head.

"That boy with the glasses you hang out with. It was Lune-kun!!" Ultimo replied, nodding to himself as he said it.

Yamato cursed under his breath. 'Goddamn you, Lune...I told you, we only had to do it that one time! That mafia guy would have killed us if we hadn't done it! You weren't supposed to take it so seriously!! Stupid, stupid, stupid motherfucker...'

"...By the way, the reason I'm naked is because you undressed me in your sleep..." Ultimo suddenly added in. He looked rather proud of himself for some reason.

Yamato looked like he was going to puke. "...I-I did...?"

"Yeah, pretty soon after 8 p.m.," Ultimo tilted his head back slightly, and his eyes became glazed over as he recalled the events of the previous night, "You started mumbling 'Sayama-san, Sayama-san', under your breath over and over as you began pulling at my clothes. I nearly cried out a few times, but I was able to remain quiet the whole night to ensure that you got all the sleep your body required! Aren't I good?!"

"So, then...we didn't have gay sex?" Yamato asked inquisitively.

Ultimo shook his head.

Yamato let out a sigh of relief. "Then...how did you perform any sexual favors for me?"

Ultimo grinned so widely that his beautiful, pearly-white teeth nearly blinded poor Yamato. "I gave you a BJ, of course!" he proudly exclaimed.

At that moment, something in the back of Yamato's head snapped.


End file.
